Category Archives: dating

Treat Men Right, part 2: Honoring and Respecting Men

Some may react adversely to the title of this post by saying that not all men are worthy of honor and respect.  To that I respond with wholehearted agreement.  There is a disturbing trend in our culture of men who do not lead at all.  From the grown ‘boy who can shave’ to the selfish absentee father, men at this point in history are left with precious few role models.  And we find humor in a host of dudes who don’t deserve to be honored (Peter Griffin from Family Guy, and Ray Romano Everybody Loves Raymond among many others) – worthless guys who abdicate their responsibility to lead their families and let their wives handle everything.  This is both inappropriate and unbiblical ‘leadership’.  But just because there are a few duds in the group doesn’t mean that men aren’t respectable.  A couple of posts ago I encouraged my brothers in Christ to be men deserving of honor and respect (you can check out what I said here and here).  Today I’d like to get into what it looks like for women to encourage, honor, and respect men – especially those who lead well. Read more

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Treat Men Right, part 1: Be a Solid Woman

So last week and earlier this week I posted some thoughts and take-aways from many conversations I’ve had over the last few years concerning how single men can and should encourage and honor women.  Both days I posted those broke the previous record for the most page views in a day, and they have now become the two most viewed pages on this blog (Thanks to all six of you who read! Just kidding… but seriously… thanks.).  So it seems I have tapped into something that folks have a hankering to read about.  Today I’d like to look at the flip-side of the coin and turn my attention toward how single women can be an encouragement to their brothers. Read more

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Treat Ladies Right, part 2: Encourage and Honor Women

So in my post a couple of days ago I dug into the idea that one of the best things that I can do to treat women right is to be a solid guy myself.  The reason for this is that everything in this post will fall completely flat if I’m not a solid dude.  All of the encouraging actions and conversations will ring hollow if they’re not spoken from a godly mindset.  I’ve found that in the past I’ve tried to sharpen my sisters and been met with either rejection or frustration because I offered those compliments out of a manipulative or self-serving mindset.  I now know that my heart must be prepared and Christ-focused if I am to serve my sisters well.  So, that said, what follows is a distillation of my experience as a single guy trying to encourage my sisters in the faith. Read more

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Treat Ladies Right, part 1: Be a Solid Guy

Following from my last post, I have had a ton of conversations in the last ten years about courtship, dating, and almost everything having to do with relationships.  While I am far from an expert on the subject of how men and women should relate to each other, I figured I’d air out some of my thoughts here to see what you think, and hopefully start a useful conversation.  What follows is a collection of take-aways from those many conversations, and I am much indebted to my friends, pastors, and mentors for sharpening me in this specific area of my walk with Christ.

I will address the men first. Read more

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(singleness)

I honestly don’t know how many articles, books, videos, sermons, talks, and coffee-in-hand discussions I’ve consumed that have something to do with the topic of singleness-in-preparation-for-marriage.  But I can definitely tell you it’s a lot.

I can also tell you that my personality lends itself to obsessing over things in my darker times – and therefore I have spent many hours thinking and praying and worrying and overanalyzing and self-deprecating on a myriad of topics associated with my singleness.  From the hopelessly arrogant “How come they can’t realize that I actually am Mr. Darcy’s personality type?” [INTJ, by the way] to the sinfully presumptive “I’ll just do my own thing and not look around at all until God just sticks her right in front of me.”  The only trouble with those two thoughts is that first, Mr. Darcy is a fictional character dreamed up by Jane Austen, and I am hardly worth ten thousand pounds a year.  Second, I am trusting for God to provide a wife, true… but I am also trusting that he provides me food, and I don’t just pine away on my couch waiting for him to plunk down a pot roast or some oreos and milk (… mmm, oreos).  I go out and hit up the drive-thru get some food from the store and cook it at home.  Anyway, I could go on and on, but that’s not the point here. Read more

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