The following post was a short thought written to myself on 10.5.08. As I’ve revisited it, I’ve been driven to meditate on God’s grace in a more realized way. I hope that you find encouragement in it, and that Paul’s words and God’s mercies impact you in some way – be it new or different.
I think what I may need to begin understanding life and living it well (or at least better) is a redeemed perspective. Always before I’ve carried around this burden of my past – memories, experiences, guilt, pride, etc. This has played a large part in how I view the present, and also shapes how I view the future (I don’t want to repeat past mistakes, and think that the ‘good old days’ are the best that it can get). So I think I need to take a page out of Paul’s letter to the Philippians… ‘forgetting what lies behind…’ I need to learn from the past, to be sure… but it can’t dictate me and control how I perceive things. I must see the hand of God working in and among my life’s events, and trust that He knows that my path is straight, regardless how many roadblocks, potholes, and seemingly dead-ends there are. To live with joy, I think begins with redeeming the past and looking at the present as a ‘future past’… that is, to see that someday I’ll be looking back on this time and realize I missed opportunities, took chances, made good decisions, or screwed stuff up. It takes on a more heavenly view of things, rather than focusing on the mundane vanities under this sun.
If all goes well in this department, it seems as though the future will take a backseat for the time being, and in so doing will free me up to dream, respond to God in faithful obedience, and not be so anchored by the doubt, insecurity, and pride that has shackled me to the old man that I was. I look forward to what God may or may not teach me through this. I’m just along for the ride at this point.