Lately I’ve listened to “Restless” by Audrey Assad as I’ve settled in to life in Missouri.  She came to LifePoint (my home church) and I’ve kicked myself for not going to that concert.  Anyway, I’ve felt a bit of yearning to be older, to be married, and to be a pastor full-time so that I can serve and teach and lead like I believe God has called me to.

But one thing that I’ve known all along (and re-realize from time to time) is that God is at work in the times where I feel restless.  Just because I’m not where I eventually want to be doesn’t mean that where I’m at serves no purpose.  So in my restlessness, I praise God for his sovereignty.  I praise him that he gives me what I need, not what I want.  And I realize that I’m restless in this life because I’m not home.  I’m not in heaven; I’m in this temporary house that sharpens and sanctifies me, makes me yearn for more – makes me yearn for my God.

This is the thought that Augustine expressed in his book ‘Confessions,’ which happens to be that inspired “Restless.”  His prayer to God reads (loosely) that ‘we are restless until we find rest in [God].’  This simple but profound truth has immense implications that I can hardly scratch the surface of, but it most certainly rings true in my restless heart.

In Christ I find the only security, the only satisfaction, the only answer that gives my restless heart peace.  I truly am restless, insecure, impatient, and frustrated.  But in Christ I am made new, made whole, and made to be of great worth in God’s economy.

So though I started this day restless and frustrated, I pray that I put into my heart and speak to my soul the promises that are all confirmed and established in Christ, and may I see that my restlessness drives me to the one in whom I have eternal rest.

watch Audrey playing “Restless”:

[song starts about 20 seconds in]

by Audrey Assad

You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the Heavens
Rising to Your heart

Our praises filling up the spaces
In between our frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart

And I’m restless
I’m restless
‘Til I rest in You
(Oh God I wanna rest in You)

Oh speak now for my soul is listening
Say that You have saved me
Whisper in the dark
‘Cause I know You’re more than my salvation

Without You I am hopeless
Tell me who You are
You are the keeper of my heart

Still my heart
Hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow
Let it rise
Into a shout
Into a cry

I am restless until I rest in You

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